Some watched.
Some just talked to me.
They all had their vices.
Fear.
Betrayal.
Loss.
I’m trailer trash in the slums of Carillon.
Until I met him, the mysterious neighbor who speaks through handwritten notes. He never shows his face, only comes and goes late at night, and I’m drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
I shouldn’t want him.
I don’t need him.
But when I close my eyes, he’s all I see.
He’s my addiction. The secret I keep close to my heart.
But sometimes things aren’t what they seem, and secrets don’t stay secrets forever.
And together, we’re just two lost souls on the wrong side of heaven.
Can I just be blunt and say that I didn't like the story? I tried to, I swear... In the beginning, like all angsty stories go, I thought it was slow because it's building up to something... and when I reach the middle, I still gave it a shot and tried to be positive...that its probably almost that time, that pivotal moment.. but no, it didn't come... So many times I thought about quitting the book... I was subjecting myself to too much angst and drama... I can deal with angst, I can deal with heavy drama... I'm an open-minded reader but in this one, it was all that until the end...
I did not connect with any of the characters—at all. I was exasperated mostly by the heroine... she was very indecisive... she was very confusing... she's not quite right in the head...
I mean I get it... she went through all these pain... she's scared about being alone, being put in the system... of being homeless etc... to be subjected to all the physical, mental and sexual abuse while growing up, on top of being surrounded by druggies as role models isnt easy... I know it'll f@ck you in the head in ways I can only imagine... But come on! She's 17, not a helpless 5-year old for crying out loud! She's not 100% helpless... everybody has a choice... everybody can make a choice... smh
She insinuated and thought about wanting to be free from the shi+hole she's in.. she wants love and all the nice normal things, but she's not doing anything about it...
I'm sorry... I really wanted to like this book. Why else would I finish it?? But I think it's just ridiculous how weak she is... There were two people who cares for her deeply, and yet she doesn't want their pity or help but she keeps on being her pitiful-self, indulging favors that she very well know she can refuse despite threats coz lets face it, its not like theres a gun being held to her head like its life or death... If she really, vehemently doesn't want to do something, nobody can force her... She basically has nothing to lose thats why she can call their bluff... If there's a will, there's a way... And in this one, she doesnt seem to have the will, even an ounce.
Aaaand she cuts herself, therefore strengthening the fact she really is not in the right frame of mind... that being said—this guy, who's twice her age, knew all about her troubles, knew everything coz he allegedly was just around, looking-out for her from a distance... this guy makes a move on her when what she really need is saving and years and years of therapy sessions... I mean I get it, we don't get to choose who we fall for, but still he shouldn't have indulged her. He should've known better...
That saying "same sh!t, different day"? That is her in this book... All I kept thinking was, this has gotta be the most annoying character ever! And I've read tons of books with annoying characters in them! I wanted to reach out in the book and shake her until she comes to her senses, but even I, myself, realize that it probably wont happen... Maybe book two will be better?? I don't know... but I hope so.